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Inspiration is fine, but inspiration must lead to discipline. It’s one thing to be motivated, but it’s another thing to be motivated sufficiently to take the classes, do the reading, do the repetition, go through it over and over, until it becomes part of you. And those are challenges. They’re not easy, but they’re challenges that if you win and develop and grow, that’s what determines your place, your return, your equity, the worth you get from the marketplace.
Being a mother has caged me, grounded me, freed me, limited me, taught me, and made me. It’s made me learn to love myself and get past others’ opinions, even my childrens’. If I think too hard about this process, I’ll skip the present if this moment and be sad.
Be willing to try new things, give it your best shot and if you fail, take the time to step back. Reflect on the reasons that led you to fail and try again. As you progress, you are growing as a person.
Placebo effects can never be wholly discounted. Thus careful studies of “the power of subliminal self-help tapes…showed that their content had no real effect…But that’s not what the participants thought.”[25] “If they thought they’d listened to a self-esteem tape (even though half the labels were wrong), they felt that their self-esteem had gone up. No wonder people keep buying subliminal tape: even though the tapes don’t work, people think they do.”[26] One might then see much of the self-help industry as part of the “skin trades. People need haircuts, massage, dentistry, wigs and glasses, sociology and surgery, as well as love and advice.”[27]—a skin trade, “not a profession and a science”[28] Its practitioners would thus be functioning as “part of the personal service industry rather than as mental health professionals.”[29] While “there is no proof that twelve-step programs ‘are superior to any other intervention in reducing alcohol dependence or alcohol-related problems’,”[30] at the same time it is clear that “there is something about ‘groupishness’ itself which is curative.”[31] Thus for example “smoking increases mortality risk by a factor of just 1.6, while social isolation does so by a factor of 2.0…suggest[ing] an added value to self-help groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous as surrogate communities.”[32]
If you are a driver, and you want to make your journey more pleasurable, you need to know where you are going and how you will get there. Good preparation decreases the risk of things going wrong with your journey.
tags: abundance-creation, cosmic-ordering, focus, goal-setting, goals, law-of-attraction, life-changing, manifestation, manifesting, mind-body-spirit, mind-power, new-age, new-thought, positive-thought, positive-thoughts, self-belief, self-growth, self-help, self-limiting-beliefs, self-motivation, spirituality, stephen-richards, wealth-creation
Much of it is about making the unconscious conscious. That’s what this blog is really all about (and then to do the work). It’s always the first part to become conscious of how we really work on the inside. Only then we can get control over it. For instance the idea from above of telling yourself the truth, acceptance, is just the same: to make the unconscious reality, that we may have ignored before, conscious. Just that we can make progress now, while before it wasn’t even on our radar – in was just unconscious.
When we’re in touch with that place within ourselves, when we can begin to apply this quality of awareness to every single aspect of our lives – especially our relationships with others (be that personal or professional) then the world begins to look very different. There is a sense of underlying contentment and unshakable confidence which enables us to be happy and engaged in whatever we’re doing.
Here and there Nicholls inserts a “quick happiness boosting idea”, designed to give you an injection of contentment as and when you need it. In the chapter on gratitude, for example, he suggests you “take a moment or two to send a text message to someone thanking them for being a part of your life”. I embarked on a preliminary challenge: trying to find someone – anyone – in my list of contacts I could send a text like that, without having to send an immediate follow-up apology text: “Sorry about that – I was only following orders.”
All told, this is a bleak picture. If the ideal of the optimized self isn’t simply a fad, or even a preference, but an economic necessity, how can any of us choose to live otherwise? Storr insists that there is a way. “This isn’t a message of hopelessness,” he writes. “On the contrary, what it actually leads us towards is a better way of finding happiness. Once you realize that it’s all just an act of coercion, that it’s your culture trying to turn you into someone you can’t really be, you can begin to free yourself from your demands.”
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People operating on a childish pleasure/pain values derive their self-esteem from how much pleasure or pain they feel. Therefore, when they feel good, they feel good about themselves, and when they feel bad, they feel bad about themselves. So when a person at this level fucks up big-time, their first explanation is likely going to be, “I’m a piece of shit. I’m a horrible person. What was I thinking?”

After a stay in Africa for 4 months I returned home (the Netherlands). My “best friends” ruined my house, so I am totally broke by now. That is why I am busy to start my own business online. After weeks of working real hard, 12 to 16 hours a day, I found myself a teacher, who is helping me right now. I will not give up, I wanna succeed, one way or the other. Giving up would make, that I wasted hundreds of hours and as I have a goal, I will not give up. It is not for myself, but for the little children in Uganda. I wanna support them in near future. Without education many of them cannot have a human future. I maybe will tell you more about “how I will do” in a later message.
But soon enough February will come, mid-winter doldrums will set in, and you’ll start to slide. Not to worry. Jane McGonigal’s “SuperBetter” tells you how to gamify your way back from the edge with the help of video-game-inspired techniques like finding “allies” and collecting motivational “power-ups”; and Angela Duckworth’s “Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance” reminds you that persistence makes all the difference when the going gets rough. Duckworth doesn’t think you need talent in order to become, as another of Duhigg’s books puts it, “Smarter Better Faster,” and neither do any of these other experts. According to their systems, anyone can learn to be more efficient, more focussed, more effective in the pursuit of happiness and, that most hallowed of modern traits, productivity. And if you can’t, well, that’s on you.
Much more commonly, we see individuals who exhibit both the strengths and weaknesses of their type. It is natural and healthy that each personality type is ruled by a dominant function, and that the other functions support the ruling function. We don’t seek to change anyone’s natural self, or to achieve a perfect balance amongst a personality’s functions. By definition, a kingdom needs a king in order to exist, and a personality needs a dominant function. However, a kingdom with a well-developed and effective king (the dominant function), who has well-trained and educated advisors (the supporting functions), will thrive more than the kingdom ruled by a neglectful king who is supported by inexperienced advisors.
It requires good parents and teachers to not allow themselves to succumb to the adolescent’s bargains. It is their responsibility to point out to the adolescent that this sort of behavior is a never-ending treadmill, that you can only get so much from the world by bargaining with it, that the only things in life of real value and meaning are achieved without conditions, without transactions. The best way to do this is through example. The best way to teach an adolescent to trust is to trust them. The best way to teach an adolescent respect is to respect them. The best way to teach someone to love is by loving them.
Masciarelli, James P (2000). “The coaching moment”. PowerSkills: building top-level relationships for bottom-line results. Gloucester, MA: Nimbus Press. pp. 134–135. ISBN 9780967711119. OCLC 45136779.
It’s this willingness to die that leads to adulthood. Adulthood occurs when one realizes that the only way to conquer suffering is to become unmoved by suffering. Adulthood occurs when one realizes that it’s better to suffer for the right reasons than to feel pleasure for the wrong reasons. Adulthood occurs when one realizes that it’s better to love and lose than to never love at all.
9. Read More. You may have heard that knowledge is power, and one of the best ways to acquire knowledge is by reading. In addition, researchers have found that gaining new knowledge can satisfy our need for competence, which makes us happier.
Learn from your friends. Everyone has amazing qualities in them. It’s up to how we want to tap into them. With all the friends who surround you, they are going to have things you can learn from. Try thinking of a good friend right now. Think about just one quality they have which you want to adopt. How can you learn from them and adopt this skill for yourself? Speak to them if you need to – for sure, they will be more than happy to help!
@Johnny Salter: have you examined the reasons why your business went down by 75%? Of course, sometimes there are things that we cannot control. Then we have to adapt. But in any case, usually you can learn something which is valuable for your next and better try.
Reflect on what actions were taken by our consumerist society that led us into the life-threatening predicament we face today. Examine those unexamined assumptions and predetermined perceptions that everything is disposable. Use transformative learning techniques to debunk the irrational ideas and worldviews that we can continue on our current destructive path without consequence.
Finally, there’s the economy. Survival in the hypercompetitive, globalized economy, where workers have fewer protections and are more disposable than ever, requires that we try to become faster, smarter, and more creative. (To this list of marketable qualities I’d add one with a softer edge: niceness, which the gig economy and its five-star rating system have made indispensable to everyone from cabdrivers to plumbers.) Anything less than our best won’t cut it.
Process Education is about empowering each person to realize and achieve their unlimited potential. This research project is a project of projects to explore the 5 major areas of process education …” [more]
Pleasure/pain values fail for the simple reason that pleasure and pain are bad long-term predictors of health, growth, and happiness. OK, yeah, touching a hot stove sucks and you shouldn’t do that anymore. But what about lying to a friend? Or waking up early for work? Or, like, not doing heroin. Those are just a few of the millions of examples where pursuing pleasure/pain values will lead you astray.9
A personal development plan not only helps you to improve on your weaknesses, but it can also help you to develop your strengths. By taking time to focus on nurturing and using your strengths more, you go from being good at something to being excellent at it. You can reach your potential and achieve great growth by developing the skills you are already good at.
Personal development is a push. It’s a struggle. It’s a challenge. There wouldn’t be any winning without a challenge. That’s what life is all about. It’s the struggle and the challenge to develop ourselves and our skills to see what we can create in the way of value in the marketplace.